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DIY Pokémon Christmas Tree

It was time to up our nerd game and move to a Pokémon themed Christmas Tree. Over the years we have featured all types of theme trees, but since the entire household plays Pokémon it was like serendipity for this year’s theme. Of course we had to add DIY elements to our Pokémon Christmas theme, but did mix in a few purchased elements. Doing an entire theme tree from scratch can get pricey so this is how we created our budget friendly Pokémon theme Christmas Tree.

We will start with the DIY Pokémon elements, and give you not one, not two, but really just two tutorials, with a third honorable mention. If you want to skip around we will look at the following in this order:

  • How to make a Pokémon energy garland
  • How to make flat Pokéball glitter ornaments
  • How to make pokeball pom pom ornaments. (Or die trying)
  • Pictures and inspiration of the DIY Pokemon Christmas Tree
  • Finally, How to remove glitter from your pets and nether regions (Oh wait, no. We don’t know how to do that)

Pokémon Energy Garland

If you play or collect Pokémon trading cards you are going to end up with loads of energy cards. If you don’t they are suuuuupppper cheap (affiliate links ahead). This tutorial is so easy I didn’t even take pictures. You need the following:

I laid out all of my energy types and decided I just wanted to repeat the same pattern. I unrolled a length of ribbon, fired up the hot glue gun, and then just hot glued a card to the ribbon. Then I skipped the space of two cards on the ribbon and glued down the next. After burning my finger tips and cursing the size of my tree I was done! No wait I wasn’t…

For some reason I thought blingy glitter was a good idea. So, proceeded to had touches of elmer’s glue wherever I wanted garland, then sprinkle glitter in the color that matched the card, and then proceeded to lose my mind as I repeated the process, over and over. Good news the garland is on year two and is just fine. Bad news the dog, cat, and I are covered in glitter from this year and last.

DIY Pokeball Ornaments

Alright, now for a more advanced DIY Pokémon Christmas Tree ornament. For these are are going to need the following:

I found it easiest way to create these pokeballs are to make two ornaments at a time. First roll out your white clay to a little more than 1/4 inch thick and cut a large circle.

Second, roll out your red and do the same as above.

Finally, cut a small strip of black the length of the diameter of the circles. It is very important to start from lightest clay to darkest. It is super easy to get dots of red or black into your white, unless you meticulously clean your cutters. So either go in order (or cover your mistakes with a heap of glitter like me).

Cut both circles in half and lay the out red, black strip, white and lightly mush them together. Then take your rolling pin and roll over the clay to firmly stick them together. This will make your final clay about 1/4 inch thick. Obviously, your circle is now gonna be a little wonky. Use your large cutter to bring it back into shape.

Once you are happy with your striped pokeballs you can use the small cutter (and the lid to your exacto knife) to cut out smaller circles. I rough up the center of the clay and the new circles to make sure it sticks to the flat piece.

When you are done assembling the pokeball Christmas ornament, cut a small slit and insert your metal ring or piece of wire. Close the clay around it, and when you bake the ornament it will become part of it for easy hanging.

Follow your clay baking instructions. I suggest covering your baking dish in tin foil. It keeps the white from turning tan.

Once the clay is cool then you can use glue to glitter. Unless you have sense. If you have sense and don’t want to be covered in glitter for years, you can skip this step. But if in your heart of hearts you want a Pokémon ornament so blinging it brings a tear to a shiny Charizard’s eye? Well then glitter away.

Pom Pom Pokeball

Nope, just no. I thought this was going to be an easy craft, but it wasn’t. If you want to follow my tutorial then it goes like this:

  1. Watch a Pom Pom making tutorial on YouTube using a cardboard ring. Fail
  2. Go buy a cheap Pom Pom maker and try again. Fail
  3. Go buy a more expensive Pom Pom maker and get a decent Pom Pom
  4. Use the expensive Pom Pom maker and try to incorporate red, white, and black into a ball. Make something that looked like poke dots. Fail
  5. Try again. Now the red and white are on one side of the black. Fail
  6. Fail
  7. Fail
  8. Finally figure out how to wrap one so it comes out like a pokeball.
  9. Manage to repeat this process a couple more times.
  10. Stop for the day and forget how to do it
  11. Fail
  12. Fail
  13. Make lots of pretty single color pompoms

Other Pokémon Christmas Decorations

Since this is year two of the Pokémon theme tree we did buy a few ornaments and a tree topper of Pokémon center (not an affiliate link). We added the led lights with glue to make it more festive. I also used part of my fancy card collection to make ‘ornaments’. I used hard card cases and glued on hooks. The cards are perfectly safe.

All in all we are very happy with out nerd tree. I miss our old Star Wars theme, but it felt good to give a new fresh look too! Hope you enjoy and can make your own Pokémon theme tree.

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Best Places to Order Heirloom and Organic Seeds

Ordering seeds for your garden is one of the most exciting ways to find new varieties of plants you wouldn’t be able to simply get as starts nearby. But ordering seeds, especially heirloom seeds, can be overwhelming. Below we will go over the differences in heirloom, organic, open pollinated, and other seed types. As well as what factors you should consider when picking a seed company to place orders with. We have marked our top eight companies for ordering heirloom seeds so you can figure out the best place to order seeds for you and tips for making those seeds last. Finally, we have a comprehensive list of the best places throughout the United States to order heirloom, organic, and open pollinated seed. Spoiler: We are NOT affiliated with any of these companies except one. We have just spent years ordering and trialing seeds.

What Is The Difference Between Heirloom, Organic, and other seed types?

When you begin looking through seed catalogs and ordering seeds you may see a lot of different terms. It is going to be hard to select your particular best place to order seeds unless you know what type of seed you want to order. Let’s go over a few of these and explain that when ordering heirloom seeds not all definitions are the same.

  • Open Pollinated Seed: Open pollinated seeds are sees that when you grow a plant you can then save the same seeds off that plant and have it come out like its mother plant. For example, if you grow an “Amish Paste” variety of tomato and save seed from those tomatoes than you should come out with an “Amish Paste” tomato the next year. Please Note: There is a lot more that has to occur to save true seed, but being open pollinated versus hybrid seed is the start.
  • Heirloom Seed: All heirloom seeds are open pollinated and non-GMO by their very nature. There is no exact definition of what makes something an heirloom, but generally it means the seed is open pollinated, and saved seed varieties that originated BEFORE World War II. However, I will often see heirloom added to any open pollinated seed regardless of how long the variety has been in existence.
  • Non-GMO Seed: Labelling a seed non-gmo means that it has not been genetically modified in a lab. Most varieties of seed have been genetically modified by careful selection in a garden over many years, so non-GMO speaks specifically to not have genes altered or added directly through gene modification techniques. FUN FACT you should NOT be able to order GMO seed for non-commercial operations. That being said, there is a real problem with GMO drift. Corn is one of the worst culprits for accidently having GMO genes passed on. If this is an important issue to you as a garden you will want to buy seed that is non-GMO Certified. They will have tested a certain sample of the seed to make sure it didn’t accidently end up with GMO traits.
  • Hybrid Seed: Hybrid seeds sometimes get bad rap because they aren’t “pure”. Hybrid seeds come from crossing two very specific and different parent varieties to create a plant that has different characteristics than the parent plants. The drawbacks are if you save seed from hybrid plants you probably won’t get the same plant you started with. But I don’t hate on hybrids. Hybrids can offer a lot of cool properties like disease resistance or high yield that you might not be able to get out of an open pollinated type. Also, many folks aren’t equipped to both grow in a small garden and meet the necessary rules for pure seed saving (like distance). So if you aren’t set on saving a particular seed, then give hybrids a look. They can be particularly good for new gardeners as many hybrids are grown to be a bit tougher than their open pollinated cousins.
  • Organic Seed: Organic seeds can be hybrid or open pollinated seed types BUT heirloom and open pollinated seeds do NOT have to be organic. The organic label means the parent plants of the seeds had to be grown in organic certified conditions. I’ll save my rather negative opinion of the organic certification process for another post :). It is ONE method to insure you start with seed that hasn’t been around non-organic pesticide. But I personally think finding a reputable seed supplier who follows your ethics is probably a better indication.
  • Pelleted Seed: This is seed that has been coated in… something. The purpose is to make smaller seed larger and more uniform in size for easier sowing (via hand or seeder). Depending on the seed type they may use clay or some other ‘seed safe’ coating. Pelleted seed is great for carrots but it is often hard to find for heirloom varieties.
Don’t forget to find the key for each seed retailer. They will often have their own terminology when marking their seeds

What To Look For When Ordering Heirloom Seeds?

Spoiler: There isn’t going to one BEST place to order heirloom and organic seeds. But there is going to be one or two best places for you specifically to order seeds. To figure that out you need to understand what seed type you want to order (above) and some other factors.

  • Cost: Unless you are Richey McRichison cost is going to be a factor. Specialty seeds aren’t cheap. Organic designation can add to the cost. Some companies like to work with farmers or resellers and give good discounts to bulk orders. Which leads to our next consideration–>
  • Scale: Are you going to be a small hobby gardener or scale to market? Maybe even full time agriculture. Seed sellers generally cater to large or small scale. However, there are a few vendors that sell to both.
  • Location, Location, Location: One of the joys of buying heirloom seed is that it has been saved over many years. Which means varieties can often acclimate to a particular region. Finding a seed source near your area can often mean less work as a gardener. The varieties will be used to your weather and pests with natural defenses for both.
  • Variety: One of the joys of buying heirloom seed is getting something not found in every store! I like to find seed sellers with enough variety of choice to satisfy my “oooh and awwwweee” factor. But buyer beware, sometimes a more targeted seed seller is going to fully understand the exact varieties they are selling. Their advice and commitment to those varieties can get your garden really going. They have picked things they know are reliable and tasty.
  • Seed Health: Let us say it again: GERMINATION RATE. All those fancy peppers I was trialing last year…. 1 whole packet never even germinated. Also open pollinated seeds have to be kept in special conditions in order to make sure the seed you get will grow up like the parent plant. One year all my tomatoes were not what was on the packet. :(. The company refunded all my money when I sent them pictures, but what a waste of a growing season when you end up with some tasteless paste tomato when you really wanted a rich slicing variety
  • Mission and Values: A number of heirloom varieties disappeared over the years when hybrid and “easier” vegetables came on the market. There are companies DEVOTED to preserving these varieties. Other companies work with local communities or other charitable activities. I always think it is nice to work with a company doing good things when I can.

Our Top 3 Locations to Order Heirloom Seeds

#1: Sow True Seed: Asheville, NC

  • Price: Most packs ~$3.00
  • Shipping: Based on exact cost of weight and zip. via USPS.
    • Often free order +$49
    • Free in-store pickup
    • Unknown: International Shipping
  • Why we love them: There are sooooo many reasons to love Sow True Seed. My top reason is that they trial the seeds they sell. You know you are going to buy seeds that work well in the Southeastern United States. I have, personally, great germination rates that result in tasty vegetables. They are small, give tons of seeds away for school and community gardens, and are just generally nice people. Over the years their website has evolved to make it easy to order heirloom seeds as well as open pollinated varieties. They also have signed the safe seed pledge so you know they do their utmost to keep clean, non-gmo seed.
  • Things to consider: They ship all over the US but their physical location in Asheville, NC is where their focus is involved.

#2: Baker Creek Heirloom Seeds: Mansfield, Missouri

  • Price: Most packs ~$3.50-$4.50
  • Shipping: North America (Canada, US, Mexico) Free
    • They do ship internationally for additional fees.
  • Why we love them: Do you need a cucumber that looks like a dragon egg? What about a bean that grows over 4ft long? Cause they will have it. If you want to find unusual varieties from around the world this is the place to go. Added bonus, the yearly catalog might as well be plant porn.
  • Things to consider: The seed packets can be really small. Like barely have enough pepper seeds to double plant a small tray (12 peppers?!). The germination can be dubious at best. They do try to mark seed packets with low germination and add more seeds, but that is only after you receive your order. Finally, they are getting varieties from all over the world. It makes them really, really cool but it also means I’ll be trying to grow a blue butterfly pea plant for the 3rd year in a row (Yeah, I don’t give up easily) because it just doesn’t like something about Western North Carolina. Honestly, I would hesitate to base my entire garden on their seeds but I use them as an add-on every single year.

#3: Amazon/Etsy: Who knows?!

  • Price: ~$2.00-$5.00
  • Shipping: Just depends. We order Prime if we can for free and many Etsy sellers offer free shipping.
  • Why we love them: We combined these two as the same because of the key reason we like them. FYI, We are Amazon Affiliates (link above is an affiliate link), but that isn’t the reason we suggest Amazon. Amazon\Etsy can have things you just can’t find anywhere else. Both locations can connect with you with small independent sellers who carry items that you just cannot find other places. I have found that costs can be higher than expected as items get padded in shipping costs
  • Things to consider: Amazon and to a lesser extent Etsy are large corporations that are platforms for other sellers. This can be great in giving a small seller a larger online presence, but it can also mean they take a lot of money out of the small seller’s profit. Call it a love-hate relationship with this type of big corporation. Additionally, you rarely know what type of seed you are getting. These aren’t the common seed markets so reviews are limited in some cases, and you are just taking a chance at the quality. I will say though, I have an awesome banana tree I ordered as a teeny tiny plant from Amazon. I also had to throw out a bag of Jerusalem artichokes when I was trying to source bulbs a few years back because they were rotten (Sow True carries these now). I have had some success with seeds, but also have gotten packets of dubious nature when ordering heirloom seeds. Its a buyer beware area.
Look at this seed porn! I mean who doesn’t need three foot long carrots FFS?

5 Other Really Awesome Places to Order Heirloom Seeds

Johnny’s Selected Seed: Especially great if you are looking at bulk orders for farming. Their focus is more commercial in nature but they are open for home gardeners ordering heirloom and organic seeds.

Botanical Interests: We picked up a few packs from them on sale at Ace hardware a few years ago and they did wonderfully. Their packets are meant to help new gardeners and are beautiful and informative. Their website has specific areas for organic and heirloom types seeds.

Seed Savers Exchange: I have NOT personally used their seed, but I am familiar with their mission. They are one of the big groups to help preserve heirloom seeds for future use. They also help facilitate seed exchange among seed savers. They are on m to-try list if I ever get past the first five I have listed.

High Mowing Seeds: They are another company I am familiar with but don’t use regularly. The nice thing is being out of Vermont they offer a lot of good varieties for the East Coast of the US. They have also been in the organic seed business a LOOOONNNGGGG time. You know you will be getting real organic seed when you order from them.

Burpee: You may be appalled by our last choice since Burpee is more synonymous with big box gardening than organic and heirlooms, but I stand by them. I like to meet gardeners where they are and not everyone is ready to go hunt down esoteric packs of strange and delightful white tomatoes. (Trust me, you will get there if you get hooked in gardening). Burpee has entire lines of organic and heirloom seeds. Often you can find some of these lines at Lowes, Home Depot, and other big box stores. They focus on lines of seeds that give good consistent results and provide seed that is accessible to a lot more folks. I will often fill my vegetable needs from Burpee seeds and they grow great plants.

Need Even More Options?! See the list at the bottom of the post for even more specialty locations to order heirloom seeds, as well as organic and open pollinated seeds. Please add your favorite seed places in the comments and I will update the list.

How to Keep Your Seeds Organized

Now that you have figured out how to locate the best places to order heirloom seeds don’t forget to keep them organized and safe! People often do not realize you do not need to order $100’s of seeds each year. For a small family a single packet of tomato seeds can generate enough plants for 3-4 growing seasons. There are really three things to keep in mind:

  1. Keep up with what you order
  2. Keep them dry, cool, and safe
  3. Keep up with what you order (It is worth saying twice)

I always THINK I am going to remember what I ordered, what I liked the previous year, etc. I don’t unless I literally MAKE myself. Now, I keep a nice online inventory. I make notes at the end of the year and before I allow myself to order anything new. Added bonus, it is easy to simply hit “share” and let my gardening friends see what extras I have on hand. Here is a handy link to our seed inventory and printable seed saving guide. This can help you keep your heirloom seeds organized and determine when seeds are going out of date so you can plant them accordingly.

Finally, remember to just have fun and enjoy ordering/planting these unusual heirloom seeds. You may not get every seed to become a beautiful plan but it is one of the best ways you can help preserve and taste history!

THE List of Places to Order Heirloom, Organic, and Open Pollinated Seeds

Southeastern US

Northeastern US:

Midwestern US

Southwest

Northwest 

Find out all you need to know and where to go to order the best heirloom seed, organic seed, or open pollinated seed for your garden.
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Get Your Free 2021 Backyard Chicken & Poultry Tracker

Example of the new graphs available in the free 2020 egg tracker

Are you looking to track the egg production of your chickens, quail, or ducks for free? We’ve got you covered with our 4th annual updated chicken and poultry tracker. If you are new to the tracker you can review detailed instructions on how to log your poultry and their eggs below. This tracker keeps all the details of your chickens, quail, and ducks, the eggs they lay, and expenses/profit. This year we have a quick FAQ and what’s new for 2021. If you are already familiar with our previous egg and poultry trackers simply skip to the bottom to get the newest version! As always this egg tracking utility is free. Please just follow us on the social media of your choice Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, or Pinterest and share this tracker with other folks who need a utility to keep up with their backyard egg production.

What All Can I Keep Track Of?

There are four main areas you can keep track of for your flock:

  • The Poultry (Chicken, Quail, and Ducks)
  • The Eggs
  • The Expenses (There are many)
  • The Income (Not nearly enough)
Example of the new graphs available in the free 2020 egg tracker

The Poultry

As with previous years you can log as much or as little information about your flock as you want. Highlights include birth, deaths, lay dates and notes for ducks, chicken, and quail. The only required field is a date for laying if you want the hens of all species to average correctly. Don’t worry about perfection, I sometimes can only get a lay date within a couple of weeks depending on how many pullets I have going that year.

The Eggs

Shooooo, folks really have opinions on this area. Track by size, color, species OR skip it all and just put your total eggs by day. We aim to please everyone in this area

The Income and Expenses

We offer some items in the dropdowns but you can easily add your own line items. We also have a handy place to put in some customer notes

Wow This Is Overwhelming, Where do I start?

First scroll down and make a copy of the sheet into your own Google Drive. Then follow the instructions on sheet one. Summaries and charts are automatically created from entering your chickens and eggs in the various tabs. Don’t worry if you still need help, we have a handy guide from 2018 that still gets you going:

Directions on how to use the chicken tracker

We also will assist folks (when time allows) via comments or Facebook/Instagram chat. Please remember we don’t make money doing this and we work full time outside of this website.

Can I get an Excel/Paper/Other Version of this Egg Tracker?

Please keep asking in the comments below, but for right now the free version is only available via Google Sheets. If we ever have enough interest we will make other options for a small fee.

Can I Use This Egg Tracker For My Small Business?

ABSO-FREAKING-Lutely. While we cater to small backyard flocks, we firmly support small farm businesses! Please let us know if you use this poultry tracker for your small business. We would love to support you on social media and make changes to assist you. Farmers are the backbone of our food supply! We just ask that no one packages this sheet up and sells it for a profit or posts it as their own work. We make this for free so everyone can enjoy.

What’s New for 2021?

You asked for it and we came through: First the summary page now contains a WEEKLY view of your total egg counts. The egg counts by size, color, and species are automatically calculated just like the monthly counts.

We also created a new chart that shows the total eggs by week. A great way to get a visual on your egg production throughout the year.

How Do We Get Our Copy?!

Click the link below and you will be prompted to make a copy to your Google Drive. Make the copy and then run with it. Please note, I only give copy access to the Poultry Egg Tracking Spreadsheet. This avoids someone accidentally messing the entire sheet up.

Free 2021 Poultry & Egg Tracker (Copy Only) <—— Click IT!

If you would like to see an example all filled out you can click this link:

Poultry & Egg Tracker w/Examples (View Only)

If you want more directions on how to use the poultry egg tracking spreadsheet I wrote a guide in 2018. Click the link below:

Directions on how to use the tracker

How Can I Make You A Millionaire for Your Awesomeness?

If you like/use the tracker we simply ask that you spread the word about the free poultry egg tracker to others and send in suggestions via comments. Each year we try to incorporate what readers want to see. You are free to use it for personal or business use. Just don’t try to sell it as your product because that makes you a meanie, not nice person.

If you really NEEEEED to give us compensation check out our Support Us page!

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Saga Continues: The Great Potato Famine of 2020

Constant readers, thanks for hanging in there. What started as a promising year for adding content to the website has been a miserable fail. In our last post we focused on how 2020 had been a nightmare, and mentally, sometimes monetarily, but at least not physically that theme has continued.

The greenhouse is FINALLY up, the tree work did get done, the house is painted, runoff is diverted, the garage is leaning (still), quail got hatched, quail got eaten (delicious!), the svart hona rooster died :(, but the svart hona hens are finally laying eggs. The kids have started back to ‘virtual’ school and the weather finally cooled off. I (Brianna) have tried my hand at some new things like lemon curd (also delicious!) and ground cherry jelly (didn’t set but made a lovely honey consistency). I also brushed off some old skills and tried some stained glass and sculpted tiny polymer clay Pokémon. Adam revamped an entire shed, painted the porch, took spinning back up, and cleared out a ton of left over trash with a full yard, garage, basement, and attic clean out.

By a miracle of love and caring we not only have a greenhouse we also did not get a divorce when putting it together

All that to say:

I haven’t the foggiest where the summer went…

I can say that one of the best parts of the summer was that the kids got to be home with us while we worked from home. I can also say one of the worst parts of the summer was that the kids got to be home with us while we worked from home. Just kidding, they are great kids and outside of a broken arm and a hornet attack the summer has been both hectic and slow all a once. It is though Covid makes every day last forever and pass in the blink of an eye at one time.

The news of the world is still dire, though we’ve moved on from the death of Covid and just pretend it isn’t a thing so we can focus on elections. Folks gunned down at protests, scandals abound, and finger pointing politician after finger pointing social media star just make everything seem so hopeless.

But here at the Reaganskopp Homestead we still deal in HOPE. We wear our masks, we talk about what we can do to help the world, and we try real hard to be good partners and parents (minus a bit of the screamies at each other from time to time). In fact, we have so much hope I was super excited to go about digging up the potatoes.

It was much easier to dig up the potatoes than one would expect because a groundhog came and helpfully ate every single leaf off my squash plants. While, the squash and the groundhog are no more, I’ve been waiting patiently for those potato leaves to start dying back, and this week they turned yellow. and started to curl and die.

I can tell you, folks, my heart beat a little faster as I pushed in my pitchfork and gently lifted the dark brown soil. Oh yes, I harvested those potatoes.

This is a very small harvest of fingerling potatoes
In case this looks larger than you think remember how big a brick is…

Though, harvest might be a strong word. I think a better description would be that I carefully scoured the earth for each fingernail sized bit of potato and threw them in a bucket. I can’t even say I was mad at this point. I think by potato plant four I was kind of giggling, madly, under my breath as I pulled the smallest amount of potatoes that I think could even support a leaf. As Adam put the finishing touches on the porch paint, I hauled my giant bucket over to him with glee!

“I harvested the potatoes!”, I said in an excited voice I hope he mistakenly took for glee.

“Oh, let me see!”, as he climbed down from his ladder to peer into my giant bucket.

Oh yes, I was not about to rob him of the mirth and joy of the situation. 2020 had struck again. We both started laughing as we held up our tiny potato harvest. Thank god, our food supply had not depended on these because we would definitely have not made it through the winter.

And so, the Great Potato Famine of 2020 continued.

Removing the dirt really didn’t help the situation…

And while I don’t have some rocking, awesome post about potatoes to write I do have lots of learned lessons that I should put down to help you readers. We had enough beans to both eat and dry. We had a family of hummingbirds followed by monarchs. Fall raspberries are ripening. We had enough Egyptian walking onion bulbs we were able to donate a whole paper sack to Burton Street Community Garden. I’ve enjoyed slices tomatoes and the kids are pros at spitting grape seeds. We learned that fresh celery is an entirely different beast than the watery kind you get at the grocery. We also were reminded that peppers hate rain. Quail are still the easiest bird on the planet and heritage chickens take forever to lay. Years of experience tells me that, while 2020 wasn’t the year of potatoes or websites, 2021 just might be.

Stay safe, stay sane, and go try to grow some fall spinach. We plan to seed ours this weekend!

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Covid-19 & The Great Potato Famine of 2020

It all started with Covid-19. Maybe you remember back those long years months ago… back to mid-March? I mean it had to be at least an eternity ago… Right? Back to that time when I naively thought I would exercise each day, cook meals, write content for the website, and film homesteading videos… Back before we knew we would be homeschooling four elementary school kids while working full time… Yeah, that time. Per the usual, I was behind on ordering garden things, and due to Covid panic there wasn’t a seed potato to be found.

DISCLAIMER: Oh, and if you haven’t guessed by now, this isn’t our usual tutorial! I used to write personal posts, then I stopped and went solely to tutorials. Adam has always been straight business when he writes :). While tutorials been great for readers it has made me lose some of my passion for writing content. This is my long winded way of saying, if you want to read my growing potato fiasco it has some salient points about growing potatoes, but most of this going to get drastically off topic. Basically, I’m putting the FUN in Fiasco. A FUNiasco! If you are looking for just tutorials (or don’t like foul language) skip this and hit up my next post.

Potatoes and Covid Continued

So seed potatoes… Yeah, it was impossible to find them in March. With St. Patrick’s being the traditional potato plant day in Western North Carolina I was shit out of luck. At least I had gotten my arse in gear and ordered my seeds early. Panic buying upset the gardening world in a big way! (I’m still wondering what folks did with all those dang seeds.) Anywho, I was still in the early Covid days of actually cooking nice meals and had a really fancy mix of fingerling potatoes on hand. I took a couple of each type and sliced them into seed potatoes planning on sharing my absolute ‘garden brilliance’ with everyone at a later date.

I even made a video :(

Garden brilliance in the form of potatoes never materialized. I went from congratulating myself on a smart experiment to being thankful I didn’t post my plans on social media. Not a. single. potato. poked its leafed head above ground. Weather was warm, plenty of rain, and excellent conditions for potato making. It may have been perfect weather for potatoes but was not the time for excellence in personal growth. We scrambled, as a family, to find a new normal with homeschooling, coparenting, and working full time from home. We got work handled, the gardens planted, school done, tree work scheduled, and a host of other things. But all the other stuff? Yeah… Lets say the quarantine 15 is a real thing and we are still not Youtube famous. Despite that, those damn potatoes should have sprouted.

Was it Easy?

If I make all the above sound easy… IT FUCKING WASN’T. The mind has a way of glossing over stress, and both Adam and I have a habit of just slogging on through things and dealing with the fallout when shit isn’t hitting the fan. Which is why I like to think hardly anyone checked on is during this chaos. People just have the expectation that we have our shit together. Much like, THE BEAR, we just keep going but it doesn’t mean that chaos wasn’t all around:

The Bear aka THE BEAR

Speaking of THE BEAR: I could have done without the goddamn bear that got trapped in the chicken coop. News flash: A bear proof chicken coop becomes a bear trap when you leave the door open. Also, they absolutely will kill and eat a chicken (or three) if it is early spring and nothing else is available. I do not give a single shit what Google says on the matter. And THE BEAR is quite vexing. I live in the city, so dealing with a full grown bear knocking over fences, eating crops, and generally being a giant, furry death machine just shouldn’t be on the docket.

Other problems came along; kids, work, worry. We both had excellent employers that got our butts home in a rapid manner and shifted to remote work in the span of days. At least we didn’t have the hell of trying to figure out how to pay bills during the rest of it.

To be clear our children are absolutely resilient! I am amazed at how they actually did school work while I attended meetings, how they figured out video calls with teachers (even the kindergartener), and are slowly learning how to be bored and deal with that. But if you think for one second they were perfect with it… Throw in night terrors, missing friends, having to explain to teachers the differences in school work and split households, and just a general sense of anxiety. Shared custody is difficult in the best of times and really hard on everyone in the worst of times. All I can say is I hope my children one day read this and realize how PROUD I am of them for getting their ‘kid shit’ done! Cause you are fooling yourself if you don’t think your children have full lives. But as good as they were I always felt like someone… work, husband, kids, or farm was getting short changed.

And let us not even begin to mention I got a promotion during this insanity. If you are already feeling a tiny bit stressed about making sure to be a good employee when working from home, trying to do that while living up to a new title with 10,000 distractions. It will make sure to put work anxiety into HIGH gear.

Oh yeah, and I accidently let half our quail run away. Good times. Good times.

But We Keep Plodding Away

So without potatoes growing and half a million other problems, I moved on to planting the bazillion squash (And other) starts I had under my grow lights. I repurposed the space where the potatoes had been planted and never sprouted. I mean it was mid-May FFS. Time to let it go and move on. Of course right after planting all those squash we had to spend a week dealing with freezing temps that required buckets and plastic on, buckets and plastic off, rinse and repeat while in huge windstorms and pelting rains. I may have gotten in a fight with Adam and cried in the shower after the stress of likely losing all the vegetable starts I had been coddling for three months. We shall suffice to say: Why we lash out at the ones we love the most when stressed, I’ll never know, but at this point in my life I just know it is fact.

Fast forward to the first week in June.

Psych

Nope, fuck that, lets rewind. Because when they put the entire city under curfew and I watched (via live stream) while hearing (in real time) my neighbors being tear gassed. Yeah, I just couldn’t handle it.

The divisiveness when we should come together. The mask versus no mask. The black versus white. The casual cruelty. The fact that I wrote a friend in Canada about the rioting a mile from our home with casual ease. As if these things were okay. Trust me, she called my ass to attention on that matter and asked me what the hell was wrong with me? Why wasn’t I more upset and scared and enraged.

A simple answer: you reach a saturation point.

Also, I think a lot of homesteaders are practical. Our gardens die, our livestock get sick, hours of canning can be ruined by a busted glass jar… Like everything else in life I just tackled it head on. We talked with the kids about covid, racism, economic status, and a host of the world’s ills. Then we set the expectation that we will do better and not worry what others are doing. We will wear our masks and be polite to those that don’t. We will support melanated voices and business with our money and celebrate everyone’s effort toward a just cause instead of judging the efforts of others.

We will plant our goddamn squash over the graveyard of our failed potatoes.

And With That We Find June.

First, most of the plants made it. I still have two really stunted tomatoes and one squash that is tiny from the frost. I lost a few things here and there, but overall the garden seems to be hitting its stride. Despite my warm shower tears in early spring our losses weren’t great. Everything gardenwise is going well except for the flea beetles on the eggplant, and the curl leaf aphids on the apple, and all the usual host of bullshit we deal with on a yearly basis. At least the bear isn’t eating my swiss chard at the moment… And yes, this is a thing.

And our own potato famine? Well it appears to be over because the fun in fiasco is that I now have potatoes in my squash.

That folks is how you make seed potatoes from grocery store potatoes. So now you can finally bask in my garden brilliance all these months later.

Goddamn Gardening Brilliance Right Here

The. Fucking. End. (And summer gardening beginning).